Ugly & Beautiful

Nursery Rhymes Go Modern

*Note: If you’ve ever looked up the backstories of nursery rhymes, they’re often quite serious, political, or even tragic. I’ve followed that model here. Somewhat.mother hubbard

Not only is Old Mother Hubbard in great shape (she does Pilates and eats Paleo), but she is tech savvy and a big fan of her friend, Alexa. Thankfully, her job in the tech industry treated her well and she’s able to afford a few luxuries, even in her golden years, including premium dog treats for her faithful labrador, Lucille Ball. She is a crusader for animal rights.

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Jack is a loyal attendee of Comic Con and several other comic/fantasy/sci fi conventions. He was devastated when Mythbusters was cancelled and even more devastated when they replaced Adam and Jamie and rebooted the show. He is studying physics with a minor in philosophy and should graduate between 2019 and 2021, depending on financing/whether or not he changes his major again.

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Having had access to birth control through her childbearing years (and the insurance to cover it), she chose to have two children and is now feathering an empty nest.

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Being that the pie was gluten free, Jack was not enthused.

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Diagnosed with anxiety at age six, Mary chose a companion animal to help her through her school days: a lamb, whom she named Snowball. Her psychiatrist has great hope that by the time Snowball dies, Mary will no longer require her company.

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William was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in his twenties and because of his condition has been unable to maintain a job or the medical/psychiatric care he needs. He has been living in various tent communities for more than a decade, packing up his meager belongings every morning and carrying them through the city for fear of losing them to his neighbors. He has an obsession with children because he believes, had his childhood been better, he would not be where he is now.

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Peter is an avid foodie and Whole Foods shopper, though he has had a crisis of conscience since Whole Foods was acquired by Amazon. He has a master’s of fine arts in creative writing (poetry) and has won three separate mustache contests, so even if mustaches are going out of style, he will hold on to his. He is an adjunct professor of English and moonlights at Starbucks.


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Forget the silver bells and cockle shells; this is how our garden grows.


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