Things My Son Does That Make Him Cuter Than All Other Babies*

*No offense if you’ve mothered those babies. I’m sure yours is very cute, too.

He’s even cute when he cries.

1. He always cocks his pacifiers sideways. I think he likes the way it feels when it bumps the tip of his nose.

2. He has a thing about feet:

       a) I’ve been kissing his little piggies since the day he was born. From this, he has gleaned that foot-kissing is a social norm, and kisses the feet of people he likes (so far, only women).

       b) His great grandma started a game in which she sniffs his feet and then says “Pew!” quite dramatically. I sometimes play this game, too. Now he sniffs my feet and his own, but he neglects to add the “Pew!” part.

3. He steals the wireless mouse off my husband’s desk and drives it around the living room. He also uses it to perform functions I did not know computers could perform.

4. He likes to wear Mommy’s headbands, Rambo-style.

5. He LOVES Hello Kitty.

6. He points out every light fixture he sees.

7. He hides pacifiers around the house. We’ll think we’ve put all of them away, out of his reach, and then he’ll turn up sucking one and we’re just baffled.

8. He likes the Roomba to be running all the time. He likes turning it on and off, pushing it around, trying to ride it, and crashing into it with his toy train.

9. He loves sun-dried tomatoes.

10. He brings me his shoes when he wants to go outside, or sometimes he brings me mine.

11. He likes to play pool, by which I mean sitting on a pool table and depositing the balls one by one into the holes. He likes to use the cue, too, but that always makes Mommy nervous. Thankfully, he is also delighted by watching Mommy play.

12. He loves riding in the stroller more than just about anything.

13. He tries to eat oranges, peel and all.

14. He climbs into the storytime chair and flips through books all by himself.

15. He poses:

Work it, baby.

Advertisement